Monday, March 9, 2009

bios

Because I am going to lead a workshop session and be a speaker at the conference, the organizers asked me to write up a short biographical blurb for the program. They reminded me again of the special rules I must operate within: No profanity, no sex, no dungeon furniture. Thus limited, I came up with these four options, hoping one will fit the bill for the program.

1. Dawn is a 1995 graduate of a Women Unlimited 14-week Bridge and Road Construction Program and has worked since then on two Maine bridge projects, as a union sheet metal worker apprentice, a truck driver for a Midwestern agricultural coop, a metro bus driver in Minneapolis, MN, and Ellsworth, Maine, and is presently working as a self-employed contractor on Mount Desert Island. She has also worked in journalism, which accounts for her grumpy attitude. On good days she strives to fix more than she breaks.

2. Dawn is a case study in what happens when ADHD children grow up. Unable to sit still at a desk job and with an attitude so poor that it precludes her from working for someone else, she is now a self-employed contractor on Mount Desert Island. Even working for herself is touchy some days, although she has never had to fire herself.

3. Dawn is a 1995 graduate of Women Unlimited, where she learned welding, blueprint reading, first aid/CPR as well as getting her class B truck driver's license. She presently uses all of those skills in her job as a self-employed contractor on Mount Desert Island, doing home repair and light construction. In the past year, Dawn has installed a fiberglass shower stall, built a screen porch, painted the interiors of many houses, installed gutters, re-built window sills, washed and stained several decks, built a brick threshold, pruned trees, trimmed shrubs, created and tiled a shower stall, repaired a rotted shower enclosure and floor, demolished a greenhouse and built a custom sun porch, and built a delivery shed. She likes to weld and cook in her spare time. She is ruled by a small, bouncy dog.

4. Dawn prefers to lounge around days in her pajamas, playing on the Internet and face book. Unfortunately, she has not yet found a patron to support this passion, so she works as a contractor on Mount Desert Island. She can usually be counted on to say and do the wrong thing, but comes through with the right ones often enough to be asked to speak at this conference. She has a bad attitude and especially hates mornings.

11 comments:

Dusty said...

I think number 3 will work for them, but personally I love number 4. ;)

CaroleMcDonnell said...

I love three and four. Depends on how friendly they want the bio to be. Did you see the other bios yet? -C

Kay said...

3 is awesome... 4 is funny but 3 is the best (imho)

Anonymous said...

As the Executive Director of the organization and a friend of Dawn's, I must confess I like them all. My staff likes 3 and 4. We like number 1 because it says it was a 14 week training.

Dawn is amazing, and we are proud and honored to have her talk at the conference.

L.

Dawn on MDI said...

I paid her to say that.

Judie said...

I like them all but the ex-Special Ed teacher in me relates best to number two--however, if I was going to the conference, I would want to meet the person who belongs to #3 the most.

laughingatchaos said...

Combine all of 'em. ;)

MRMacrum said...

Number one. But show up in your pajamas.

Diane said...

as a fellow ADD'er, i choose all of them, for different reasons. i like mrm's idea of showing up in your pj's best! make sure to bring the little dog ("she who must be obeyed") with you, tho.

msladydeborah said...

#4 gets my vote. Especially the pajama part.
They are all witty and enjoyable to read.

asthmagirl said...

Number 2, except use the ending about the small bouncy dog!