Friday, March 12, 2010

Gratitude, day one

I need to start thinking about gratitude. Yesterday's post had a lot of anger in it, and I think that is what happens when I get stuck with writing for a while. Anger has to get out of the way before I can get to the tender bits inside. Two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, Newton said. Anger and gratitude cannot coexist.

I started off 2010 with some heavy stuff. I ended a relationship, got a new sponsor, and began some heavy-duty 11th step work within a week. Then, in two weeks, I got a call to ministry that was clearer than anything I have ever experienced. That freaked me out a bit. So I stopped with the spiritual development stuff. If a call to ministry is what I get after two weeks, I don't know if I want what might happen after three or four weeks of that stuff. Know what I mean?

So I have not been doing the serious exploratory work I was doing before, and I feel kinda wonky now. Like I'm not adjusted quite right. Like I need a trip to my spiritual chiropractor. So last night, my sponsor suggested I start with gratitude. Gratitude is always a good place to start when I need to get in touch with spiritual things. Gratitude forces me to set aside the petty crap that can fill a day with aggravation and look at the real important things that make my day worth getting through that petty crap.

I am grateful for a lot of things today. I am grateful for my sobriety and the program that keeps me healthy and mostly sane in that regard. I am grateful for the people around me who love me and care for me and nurture me, even when I don't realize that's what I need or that's what they're doing. I am grateful that I can work, that I have talents and gifts that I can use to be productive and support myself. I am grateful that I have a couple jobs right now that will do that for me. And I am grateful that I have a great place to live and a great place that I am moving to, and that I have a bouncy little dog and a large not so bouncy cat. And now I have to run out the door to work. Blessed be. Stay tuned for further exploration around gratitude.

1 comment:

Miss Trudy said...

Hmmm. That's inspiring. I think I will sit and think of gratitude too. Never fails as a pick-me-up, does it?