Sunday, November 8, 2009

counting my blessings

The past week has been rough, that is certain. But I am beginning to be able to put some things in perspective.

Five years ago, if anyone had asked me about the possibility of seeing gay marriage become a reality in Maine, I'd have said "not in my lifetime." Tuesday last week, over a quarter of a million Maine voters cast ballots in favor of just such a concept. That is amazing.

I am trying to get back on track now, and I have a few little jobs that are coming together. I don't have a ton of work, but I have a few things lined up, and the skills to do them. I am blessed in that regard. I have a multitude of talents that I can use to earn my keep.

We don't have any money, this is true. In fact, I have an appointment tomorrow morning with the church food pantry. Not to sign up as a volunteer or a coordinator or fundraiser, but as a client. You can imagine how much pride I had to swallow to make that call. But, I am blessed to know how to reach out for help when I need it. And right now I need it. I knew things were getting tight toward the end of the campaign, and since it's over, we've had to take stock of things and the truth of the matter is, we need help. I am grateful that I have the clarity to recognize this. I am also grateful that I am able to work past the shame I feel about asking for help. If people didn't need help at times, organizations would not be created to serve that need. My goal is to work as hard as I can to get to a place where we won't need this help as soon as we can. And perhaps to address my need for prepositional phrases.

I know how to cook and how to be creative on a budget. We will not go hungry, nor will we have to eat gruel. We may have to make adjustments, but we will not suffer as badly as some have or will.

And I am exceedingly grateful for Laura. She has been my rock through this campaign. She has worked phone bank nights while I did house parties. She set up my laptop with the commercials on a continuous loop and left me very simple instructions on how to make it go. She encouraged me when I needed it and brought me down to earth when I got a little over-inflated. She has been wonderful. And yesterday, when I needed to get away, we went. We visited a friend far away, had a marvelous time and then drove home again today. In all, we're out a tank of gas and a couple bags of groceries, which perhaps we could ill afford, but the good that escape did to my spirit is immeasurable. She knows what I need and will do what it takes to see that I get it. I am truly blessed.

And I have a little dog who is a real rock star. She reminds me daily of what unconditional love looks like and what is important each day: breakfast, snuggles, taking care of business, and enthusiasm for each task as it presents itself.


ANPfisher said...

I love you baby and I try to do right by you whenever possible. To our friends that is not our furniture that the dog is curled up on. said...

I always think that my greatest consolation is that in hard times I have Jess there with me to shore up my strength.

You have that too and that's more than any full bank account can buy. :)

Hoping things ease up soon.

Lisa said...

Hey Dawn,

Thank you very much for your kind comment over on my blog...I was likewise moved by this entry...even though we didn't win this time, I want you to know you made a difference to me. Meeting you and seeing your commitment and dedication made a difference to me, helped me on the road to activism, which is a road I'm glad I've started on. So, thanks.