Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Party night!

Tonight is the night I celebrate my sobriety anniversary with my home group. I made my own cake this year - it's what I wanted, and yeah, I like my version best. The cake recipe comes right off the back of the box of Hershey's baking cocoa. I used the butter cream frosting recipe, too, only instead of milk, I added come coffee sludge to make it mocha.

What is coffee sludge, you say? Well, coffee sludge is what happens when you can't seem to find the jar of instant decaf coffee reserved for just these occasions, but you do find an old jar of regular instant that is from Hy-Vee.

Now, some of you will know that Hy-Vee is a midwestern grocery store chain. That means this particular jar of instant coffee moved with us back from Minnesota.

In 2004.

That could be why is was a solid block of almost-black nastiness rattling around in the otherwise empty plastic jar.

It was this morning that I was making the frosting, and I had just poured my first cup of the day when I got the idea that adding hot, fresh coffee to that freeze-dried ball of what looked like shit might give me something pretty strong with which to make a killer mocha frosting. [Note to self: do not try to think before drinking that first cup.] I poured some of the fresh coffee into the little jar and swirled it around. The one lump broke apart and a couple of the larger chunks dissolved quickly. I poured off 1 cup of the stuff to use in the frosting. It was thicker than any espresso I have ever made. I did not taste it, but it looked, well, chewy. I was glad I used a glass measuring cup - that shit would have dissolved metal and melted plastic.

The frosting is incredible. I don't think I have ever made frosting that I could describe as "having teeth" but this stuff does. Oh man.

I think I might use a combination of instant and real again another time, but I will be measuring the instant into the real stuff instead. It was almost too strong.

So, the recipe for my killer mocha frosting is:

2 sticks butter, softened (this is a double batch)
1 1/3 cup baking cocoa
6 cups confectioner's sugar
1 cup coffee sludge

Beat the butter to smooth it out and add the cocoa.

Beat gently (it'll poof all over the place if you go to fast!) until the cocoa and butter are good friends.

Add the 10X and beat gently again. It will look sort of loose and crumbly. Now add the coffee sludge and beat until it is all incorporated and looks like frosting instead of something unpleasant.

Frost the cake. I made a half-sheet cake, plus six cupcakes and I still had about a cup of frosting left over. God only knows what I'll use it for, but I've got it.


MRMacrum said...

Some chocolate coverd coffee beans liberally sprinkled on that cake would have really finished it off I would think.

Use the rest of the frosting instead of sugar for the first cup in the morning.

Congratulations on reaching one more anniversary.

Bull said...

First, congratulations on another anniversary.

That frosting sounds awesome. I may use it whenever I decide to make a cake again...or ask my wife to.

Cakes are a big deal in this house. My wife makes a-freaking-mazing cakes and I (and many relatives) keep telling her she should start selling them.

Anyway, your post reminded me of one I did last summer when I tried my hand at making a birthday cake for my wife with some caramel macchiato frosting. 'Cept I don't spell out my frosting recipe so well.

As far as the extra frosting goes, buy some plain Dunkin' Donuts and frost them. Or dip chocolate bars in it. Or make sandwiches.

Queenie said...

Congratulations - you are awesome!

A Spot of T said...

First and most importantly a big congratulations!! And I've done the 'poof' with icing sugar and three months later I swear I'm still finding dusts of it every where.

Sarah P-H said...

send the frosting to me. that sounds like a great idea. :)

laughingatchaos said...

Congrats on your anniversary. That's one to celebrate.
And just eat the frosting with a spoon. Why not? ;)

Jen said...


And, I'll fight Sarah for the frosting. Just let me know when it's in the mail and I'll lurk outside their mailbox until I smell the coffee sludge deliciousness. And then... portland dyke death match.