Friday, January 8, 2010

numb

Growth is coming.

It is happening.

It is not pretty.

It hurts.

I cannot avoid it.

It has been a really shitty day.

This morning we came to the conclusion that while we love each other very much, we cannot be partners any longer.

And now we are both aching.

Not angry.

No shouting.

Just enormous sadness.

We are not able to be for each other what we need.

And it hurts.

God but it hurts.

Don't leave a comment dissing Laura, I'll delete it and block you. This is not about her.

Don't leave a comment dissing me. I'll delete that and block you as well. This is not about me.

It is about two people who love each other but who cannot match any longer. We have grown in different directions and at different rates, and we no longer fill in each other's empty spaces.

I ache.

With my whole heart, I ache.

I am so sad, I really don't have the words for it.

I stepped into the fear place and this is where I ended up.

I don't know what's next. We're both still in shock, I guess. There will be some figuring out that needs to be done, I guess. One step at a time. One day at a time. I'll be as honest and open about it here as I can.

Stay tuned.

11 comments:

msladydeborah said...

Wow Dawn,

I know how difficult and painful that this must be for both of you.
It is always hard to move away from someone that you love.

I hope that as you go through this transition that you're both blessed with an abundance of comfort.

MRMacrum said...

So sorry to hear this Dawn. Get through it. That's all you can do.

Miss Trudy said...

Been there. There is really no consolation when this is happening. Nothing, NOTHING will make it better but time. It just doesn't feel that way. It will leave scars, but you will heal, and you will feel better and love again. Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel, as dismal and distant as it may seem right now. Hugs!

Middle Aged Woman said...

So sorry, Dawn, for both of you. I hope your meetings help you through this. Sending hugs from Detroit.

Anonymous said...

Oh Dawn,

I'm so sorry to hear that. I've been through the same thing too, and it really sucks. I think the fact that we had each made our best efforts to compromise made the split, though still painful, at least understandable and acceptable to each of us. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but like Trudy says: time will help ease the pain. Chris and I have you and Laura in our thoughts. Give us a shout if we can help in any way. Jean

Mel said...

I'm sad and sorry for both of you. It'll be hell - it always is - but hopefully you'll both come through it stronger and better people in the end.

Carlita said...

I'm sorry, Dawn, and I'm thinking of you.

Queenie said...

There are no words I can offer to ease your and Laura's pain. Just know that there is a community out here that is sharing your journey and by sharing, we can shoulder just a little of that pain for you and make it a bit easier to put one foot in front of the other. Strength, my dear friend, not only comes from within but from without. We are here for you whenever you need us.

Robin said...

I'm so sorry Dawn, for both of you. Much love and strength to you as you figure out where your path leads.

Anonymous said...

I am sad for both of you, Dawn. Take good care of yourself & let others aid you. I know you will make it thru & become more you on the other side.
Best Regards.

Diane said...

am very sorry to hear this. hope that the people who love you will help you through this. take good care.